Friday, June 29, 2007
God really is a prayer-answering God. He fulfills the desires of our hearts. Just two entries ago, I wrote about how I wanted to serve God in a bigger manner using the gifts and abilities and skills He has given to me in my life. Almost immediately, the next few days have been very challenging and enlarging and it is REALLY BREAKING ME, literally.
I'm now playing praise during SOT p&w and learning how to play for worship. Wayne has asked me to play for keyboard for the coming mission trip next weekend to Ipoh, apart from the one on the 22nd July. I just took some photos which will be used for pst kong's cultural mandate sermon slides! That's amazing to me. =)
haha.. but above all, its not just about the increase in on-stage activities or notice. Seriously its not. Today, I came back feeling so tired and so in the flesh, not wanting to do anything other than sleep. oh man, it really takes sacrifice to do more for God.
I need to build myself up spiritually. I yearn and seek to lead a pure and righteous life for God cos that's what I realise counts most to God. My name speaks it all. Gladys= God's Princess, Li Jie= Mei Li, Qing Jie= Beautiful yet pure. This is my desire. That I can minister with purity and holiness. I will grow and force myself to grow!
I'm starting to feel better now, I was suppose to go to work immediately after sot but I was really very tired and badly wanted to use my com for a moment. So here I am, I feel much better just blogging out everything and "exorcising out my tiredness" haha..
Now I'm gonna head to work soon, and hopefully garner enough strength to go for my outing with cgl and my new friends. Oh.. the thing I really want to do right now is just spend time with bob, it's his birthday. But I kinda flared up at him when he called just now.. I told you, I was really in the flesh.=(
I'm now playing praise during SOT p&w and learning how to play for worship. Wayne has asked me to play for keyboard for the coming mission trip next weekend to Ipoh, apart from the one on the 22nd July. I just took some photos which will be used for pst kong's cultural mandate sermon slides! That's amazing to me. =)
haha.. but above all, its not just about the increase in on-stage activities or notice. Seriously its not. Today, I came back feeling so tired and so in the flesh, not wanting to do anything other than sleep. oh man, it really takes sacrifice to do more for God.
I need to build myself up spiritually. I yearn and seek to lead a pure and righteous life for God cos that's what I realise counts most to God. My name speaks it all. Gladys= God's Princess, Li Jie= Mei Li, Qing Jie= Beautiful yet pure. This is my desire. That I can minister with purity and holiness. I will grow and force myself to grow!
I'm starting to feel better now, I was suppose to go to work immediately after sot but I was really very tired and badly wanted to use my com for a moment. So here I am, I feel much better just blogging out everything and "exorcising out my tiredness" haha..
Now I'm gonna head to work soon, and hopefully garner enough strength to go for my outing with cgl and my new friends. Oh.. the thing I really want to do right now is just spend time with bob, it's his birthday. But I kinda flared up at him when he called just now.. I told you, I was really in the flesh.=(
what i look forward to, 3:11 PM.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Today was a POWER day.
1. We learnt about prophesy and how to do it correctly. It was amazing. At the end of class, pst meng did an expt. He asked 4cgls, one of which is pauline, emiko's mum, and blindfolded them. He then asked a china couple who had gone to him for counsel ytd to stand infront of them. Being blindfolded, they are to prophecy about their lives and future. Boy was it accurate! Wow!
2. My sis dragged me to the front during our break to ask pst meng a question. This is the first time I'm coming and staying so close to pst meng and boy is his face huge! oh man.. I'm seriously not trying to be rude or anything but it was really bigger than the regular face size.
3. Pst yong came up on stage and a time of correction came. He signalled two cases inwhich discipline action and counsel was taken. One involved cheating, the other ill discipline. Seriously, i think the ill discipline issue is sth I need to overcome before sth happens to me man... I'm being real here, so I'm telling myself that I must be more disciplined in all areas of my life. haiz.. It takes great pain and effort to grow up. =)
1. We learnt about prophesy and how to do it correctly. It was amazing. At the end of class, pst meng did an expt. He asked 4cgls, one of which is pauline, emiko's mum, and blindfolded them. He then asked a china couple who had gone to him for counsel ytd to stand infront of them. Being blindfolded, they are to prophecy about their lives and future. Boy was it accurate! Wow!
2. My sis dragged me to the front during our break to ask pst meng a question. This is the first time I'm coming and staying so close to pst meng and boy is his face huge! oh man.. I'm seriously not trying to be rude or anything but it was really bigger than the regular face size.
3. Pst yong came up on stage and a time of correction came. He signalled two cases inwhich discipline action and counsel was taken. One involved cheating, the other ill discipline. Seriously, i think the ill discipline issue is sth I need to overcome before sth happens to me man... I'm being real here, so I'm telling myself that I must be more disciplined in all areas of my life. haiz.. It takes great pain and effort to grow up. =)
what i look forward to, 8:11 PM.
haha.. the jap song didnt make it after all. Think it wasnt sounding good to pastor and we werent ready and confident to be on stage. But this experience really made me realise that I need to enlarge my capacity to contain the crowd capacity in the church and in jw.
I feel good and def. made better preaching and building the atmosphere in expo cch already. In fact, I felt very good after preaching the offering msg ytd. I really felt that I did sth new in my preaching, not only preaching with more conviction but getting the kids to interact with me while I'm preaching and better still, getting them to applaud for Jesus! yay..I really love that!hee.
Jw is actually an old ground for the church, but it's a new ground for me in my ministry and it looks bigger than me now.. as in bigger than what I can contain now. So I really must prepare myself to be able to grow even more and go up more levels to reach out and bring in the thousands-capacity crowd into God's presence!
I grew frustrated these few days and really felt like crying because I felt there's so much God has given to me, talents and abilities and the fleshly side of me wants to just be comfortable and blend into the walls. But the inside of me knows there's much more to give out and bring out to the people! So to be very honest with you guys, I was really not feeling very good after pst cancelled the performance. Not because it's cancelled, but the realisation that I was not at a level to contain the auditorium and that my voice didnt sound that good over the mike. I really froze when I came on stage during rehearsal but when back stage I can sing again. That sat was an emo day for me which I did my best to give it to God and comfort myself. There wasnt anyone that knows me and I was comfortable to turn to. Thank God I spoke to Bob that night. So I'm very okay and over it now..=)
When wayne, my sot team leader told us about the coming mission trips in the neighbouring countries and asked certain people in the team to go with him for the coming trip he's attending, and my name wasnt asked, I cant help but feel abit sad. Inside of me, I'm telling myself, hey, Gladys isnt just a pretty face! I can do and give much more!
So after school today, I made a decision to sign up the form to indicate the talents and abilities that I have and can do! I put playing the keyboard, praise and worship, and sharing of testimony! ha.. I wanted to put preaching too! hahah.. we'll see about that la huh..hahahah
At least I'm stepping out! In city harvest church, you really cant afford to stay comfortable in your own shell and always stay the same! If you dont start learning and doing new things and doing even the same things differently, more likely than not, you're gonna backslide and love God lesser. Seriously, I know God is challenging and encouraging me to be more garang and gang-ho! haha.. I can do all things thru Christ! Yay!
Anyway, in the end, when I went into the artiste room after sot, saw wayne and he asked me whether I can join the coming trip and share testimony! I said yes immediately! Yes! I'll do ANYTHING to be more exposed and serve God more and do more! I dont ever want to just blend into the walls ever again!
Alright! Way to go for a good start! =)
I feel good and def. made better preaching and building the atmosphere in expo cch already. In fact, I felt very good after preaching the offering msg ytd. I really felt that I did sth new in my preaching, not only preaching with more conviction but getting the kids to interact with me while I'm preaching and better still, getting them to applaud for Jesus! yay..I really love that!hee.
Jw is actually an old ground for the church, but it's a new ground for me in my ministry and it looks bigger than me now.. as in bigger than what I can contain now. So I really must prepare myself to be able to grow even more and go up more levels to reach out and bring in the thousands-capacity crowd into God's presence!
I grew frustrated these few days and really felt like crying because I felt there's so much God has given to me, talents and abilities and the fleshly side of me wants to just be comfortable and blend into the walls. But the inside of me knows there's much more to give out and bring out to the people! So to be very honest with you guys, I was really not feeling very good after pst cancelled the performance. Not because it's cancelled, but the realisation that I was not at a level to contain the auditorium and that my voice didnt sound that good over the mike. I really froze when I came on stage during rehearsal but when back stage I can sing again. That sat was an emo day for me which I did my best to give it to God and comfort myself. There wasnt anyone that knows me and I was comfortable to turn to. Thank God I spoke to Bob that night. So I'm very okay and over it now..=)
When wayne, my sot team leader told us about the coming mission trips in the neighbouring countries and asked certain people in the team to go with him for the coming trip he's attending, and my name wasnt asked, I cant help but feel abit sad. Inside of me, I'm telling myself, hey, Gladys isnt just a pretty face! I can do and give much more!
So after school today, I made a decision to sign up the form to indicate the talents and abilities that I have and can do! I put playing the keyboard, praise and worship, and sharing of testimony! ha.. I wanted to put preaching too! hahah.. we'll see about that la huh..hahahah
At least I'm stepping out! In city harvest church, you really cant afford to stay comfortable in your own shell and always stay the same! If you dont start learning and doing new things and doing even the same things differently, more likely than not, you're gonna backslide and love God lesser. Seriously, I know God is challenging and encouraging me to be more garang and gang-ho! haha.. I can do all things thru Christ! Yay!
Anyway, in the end, when I went into the artiste room after sot, saw wayne and he asked me whether I can join the coming trip and share testimony! I said yes immediately! Yes! I'll do ANYTHING to be more exposed and serve God more and do more! I dont ever want to just blend into the walls ever again!
Alright! Way to go for a good start! =)
what i look forward to, 12:30 AM.
Friday, June 22, 2007
I find myself so tired tonight.. had a long morning at school, went for a short rehearsal trying to grasp the jap words I've to memorise and half the time trying to catch the tune, oh my.. and then work and then visitation.. I was so tired I just slept totally in the train on my way to work (I was suppose to do visitation first, but I was so so tired that I just decided sit all the way to tanjong pagar instead of dropping at clementi to work first). heh
Anyway, I'm quite scared about tmr... having to sing the jap song infront of the crowd and teachers and leaders and pst.. I'm gonna faint. my mind is still trying to overcome both, the jap words as well as the fear.
God oh God take a hold of me...haha
A few friends were telling me nvm la, just anyhow sing since noone can understand the language except the jap guy I'm singing with and those jap sot students in the cch service. oh man! hahahha... that sounds very logical yet i think I and the jap students will burst out laughing! ha!
funny... oh well, I'll just try my best to ignore all other things and God, help me!!! argh!!! hhahah..
Anyway, I'm quite scared about tmr... having to sing the jap song infront of the crowd and teachers and leaders and pst.. I'm gonna faint. my mind is still trying to overcome both, the jap words as well as the fear.
God oh God take a hold of me...haha
A few friends were telling me nvm la, just anyhow sing since noone can understand the language except the jap guy I'm singing with and those jap sot students in the cch service. oh man! hahahha... that sounds very logical yet i think I and the jap students will burst out laughing! ha!
funny... oh well, I'll just try my best to ignore all other things and God, help me!!! argh!!! hhahah..
what i look forward to, 11:21 PM.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Life has been very interesting the past one week plus.
I just came back from jb with a very gd learning experience. I led worship for two days and praise for one day...And it was a breakthrough for me. When lynn asked me over sms last friday, I nearly fainted. I was like, I never did it before. But I've been wanting it somewhere in my heart. And I've been telling myself, esp. everytime when a sense of fear came to me, that it's either I give in to the fear and not do anything, or have faith and do it inspite of the fear. And with what I believe God has been speaking to me, to "press in" and not give in, I took a step of faith to lead worship.
I really enjoyed it, singing and all.. But most imptly, I really realise that church is not all about jsut serving, you need to know your God. The most impt part is not serving , but having a real, close relationship with Him. It is only when you have that intimacy and you're walking right with God that out of this relationship, you serve and things will happen.
I'm not quite there yet, but I'll make effort to come closer. I want to change.
Anyway, I've been very loved by my guy. And I'm more in love with him then last time. Bobby really shows me alot of care and when I was in jb, I couldnt contact him cos I had no auto-roaming and the only free time I had was 11+ in the night during which he is already Zzzzz.. But today I heard from madeline that he was very concern about me and called waisum to ask how I was, when waisum didnt even go. I've been trying to encourage him and exercising my tongue in the right way, haha.. affirming him and speaking words of love, his love language, although I'm actually not a very words person. But I have to try, otherwise I cannot love a person. I miss him alot.
I just came back from jb with a very gd learning experience. I led worship for two days and praise for one day...And it was a breakthrough for me. When lynn asked me over sms last friday, I nearly fainted. I was like, I never did it before. But I've been wanting it somewhere in my heart. And I've been telling myself, esp. everytime when a sense of fear came to me, that it's either I give in to the fear and not do anything, or have faith and do it inspite of the fear. And with what I believe God has been speaking to me, to "press in" and not give in, I took a step of faith to lead worship.
I really enjoyed it, singing and all.. But most imptly, I really realise that church is not all about jsut serving, you need to know your God. The most impt part is not serving , but having a real, close relationship with Him. It is only when you have that intimacy and you're walking right with God that out of this relationship, you serve and things will happen.
I'm not quite there yet, but I'll make effort to come closer. I want to change.
Anyway, I've been very loved by my guy. And I'm more in love with him then last time. Bobby really shows me alot of care and when I was in jb, I couldnt contact him cos I had no auto-roaming and the only free time I had was 11+ in the night during which he is already Zzzzz.. But today I heard from madeline that he was very concern about me and called waisum to ask how I was, when waisum didnt even go. I've been trying to encourage him and exercising my tongue in the right way, haha.. affirming him and speaking words of love, his love language, although I'm actually not a very words person. But I have to try, otherwise I cannot love a person. I miss him alot.
It takes effort, but when you decide to give, you'll gain. =)
what i look forward to, 8:55 PM.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
We are all meant to be givers.
Tonight, I was taking a night nap when my sis woke me up, asking for help to teach my bro the keyboard. He was to play for his zone's youth camp in the next few days.
My flesh was crying out for more sleep and to leave me alone, but thank God I gave my cgl a call back first in my first few attempts to wake up. Reenergised after the talk and laughters with her, I found strength to get up and give a few pointers to my bro.
We are all meant to give, truly. As I started imparting the best that I can about my experience learning how to play the keyboard, there I was, teaching and worshipping, and I could feel God's presence come in a gentle and peacful way.
Yes, Everyone of us are purposed to receive from God and give it back to people who needs them. People who needs courage, love, joy, hope, faith and even your time. When you make a conscious choice to love people and give to them, the peace and presence of God will come.
Give and it shall be given back to you.
Sow and you shall reap.
Water others and you shall be watered.
God's promises are yes and amen.
oh man.. God is really good. To stay in His presence is the best thing that can ever happen to our lives. I can feel His presence in our house now. It's great to have siblings together agreeing with you in your faith. =)
Tonight, I was taking a night nap when my sis woke me up, asking for help to teach my bro the keyboard. He was to play for his zone's youth camp in the next few days.
My flesh was crying out for more sleep and to leave me alone, but thank God I gave my cgl a call back first in my first few attempts to wake up. Reenergised after the talk and laughters with her, I found strength to get up and give a few pointers to my bro.
We are all meant to give, truly. As I started imparting the best that I can about my experience learning how to play the keyboard, there I was, teaching and worshipping, and I could feel God's presence come in a gentle and peacful way.
Yes, Everyone of us are purposed to receive from God and give it back to people who needs them. People who needs courage, love, joy, hope, faith and even your time. When you make a conscious choice to love people and give to them, the peace and presence of God will come.
Give and it shall be given back to you.
Sow and you shall reap.
Water others and you shall be watered.
God's promises are yes and amen.
oh man.. God is really good. To stay in His presence is the best thing that can ever happen to our lives. I can feel His presence in our house now. It's great to have siblings together agreeing with you in your faith. =)
what i look forward to, 12:08 AM.
