Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I've been spending a significant amount of time with bestie recently, which is good. We're even more open about our thoughts and feelings towards each other and i feel more free to be the person i am without the need to 'mask' anything in front of her.. haha.. bestie, if you should read this, you know what i mean.
We've been talking about pple and frustrations that go on in our lives. I'm going through a transition and adjustment of mindset in the way how i can still have a positive mindset despite people's super imperfections and how they tend to disappoint you because of their inconsistency or weirdness.
I don't really know how to express this totally but just bear with me, i'm just pouring out every thing I've been frustrated about.
I think basically i was really irritated by people's hypocrisy- that they demand for something from people but do not perform it themselves. They lead by commanding and by authority but without showing the example.
I really love the leaders I'm surrounded by right now, esp in pet zone cos I personally feel when I'm doing sth or when I'm following their leadership, I know they're also in the mud with me, we're fighting together and I'm led by people who care, who love and who really do it, not just say it but haven tasted or done it.
Serving is tiring, and it brings about a whole range of emotions. but I got an understanding of how the cross becomes so impt because every emotion that i have been through or will go through, I now know that Jesus had felt so, and even more. So when I'm tired, when I'm disappointed, when I'm frustrated, when I'm so unhappy and hopping mad, I know that I can always look to God because He really knows and He knows even more of the emotions I go through.
I felt so so much better and even happy after having this revelation.
There are so many things I need to settle before I go on my holiday. I seriously cant wait! haa.
I'm so unmotivated to do my report but my prof is rushing it.. i've to complete it in 24hours. God bless me. haha..
I pray and ask for strength. I ask for revival in my soul. I ask for greate fire and passion in me. And finally I ask God that You take away all my pimples.. hmmm..=(
haha.. but thank you God:
1. for good leaders
2. for good friends, esp bestie
3. for good parents (i miss my dearest bro)
4. for the children in my ministry (they seriously make my day, and they never fail to put a smile on my face)
5. for myself (hee)
6. most imptly for you God. I cant do without You.
I'm writing this last part of thanking God because everytime I find myself down and complaining, I'm reminded that thanksgiving is the way and the starting to come into the presence of God. So when I start praying just complaining and sulking etc without thanking God, I just cannot get anything, no encouragement, no enlightenment, no presence nothing. but when I decide to thank God and count my blessings, hey,things just get easier for me and I begin to be a bigger, more generous, more forgiving person. Things become easier and more possible for me. So yeah, God's word really works and it's really up to us to choose what He says or what our crazy world says. Really.
Anyway I wanna conclude by declaring I'm an outright Rafa FAN!!!!!!!! hahaha... I cant stand it! He's too good! He's the best tennis player in the world! Seriously I cant stand it cos he really rocks... hah! some people seldom see or read or hear this crazy side of me, but seriously, those who know me will know that I'm not the gentle demure girl my face portrays. My spirit is kicking on the inside to roar it all out and speak my mind and tell the world what I like and what I dont like, who I stand for, who I don't honestly, What I can stand and what I seriously cannot stand! So stop taking me for this demure pretty face without any guts to speak a piece of my mind! I tell you, I will really hit it off if my limit of tolerance comes to an end! Anyway it's anger and also frustration I'm really throwing out la, and i've been toleratingthis post like for so so SOOOOO long, just because I was afraid of what pple will say. But shut that off la, I know who I stand for, and what God thinks of me and who my security is in. I know my values and what's right and wrong. The rest of it, I just want to ignore and shut it out of my world, so that I'm not corrupted by people's inconsistency and rubbish.
Anyway sorry i got sidetracked but I really am this guy's fan. ha.. not in a i-worship-him manner but seriously, let me tell you his "liao4". He is ranked world no 2 player in tennis, when you watch him play, he has this never-give-up attitude and great fighting spirit even when he's so so dangerously close to losing his match- that's a champion mentality that many MANY players and people in general do not have. He is characterized and well known not as for having excellent tennis skills and as the king of clay, but also for his passion, and most imptly, his perseverence. I'm even more in awe of his character than his skills. He's the only player i've ever seen who has never thrown his racket down in a feat of anger, simply because he's brought up so well. If i'm not wrong, he's taught that his racket is his weapon, not as an object to vent your frustration at when you're angry. So if he did that when he was practising, he would be sent out of the practise grounds and not allowed to play by his coach, that's what I heard la. And he's so humble. So so humble.. He exalts people and respects them above himself, even though it's obvious that he has achieved sth better than them. That takes alot of wisdom to know that it's impt to exalt others above yourself and to be humble so that you are blessed. that's why I really like this guy man. And the best thing... he's my age, 22. Amazing.
For the character that he has and exhibits consistently, and at this age, I really respect and salute him. I want to learn from this kind of example. The character. It defines so many things and shape so many things that you do or dont get to do in the future. I want to learn the right things and throw out the bad. God I pray for more of these people in my life, but most of all, I want to be this kind of person, solid in my skills, yet so humble, willing to learn, persevering, hardworking, and so young. my gosh.. All things are possible. Amen.
We've been talking about pple and frustrations that go on in our lives. I'm going through a transition and adjustment of mindset in the way how i can still have a positive mindset despite people's super imperfections and how they tend to disappoint you because of their inconsistency or weirdness.
I don't really know how to express this totally but just bear with me, i'm just pouring out every thing I've been frustrated about.
I think basically i was really irritated by people's hypocrisy- that they demand for something from people but do not perform it themselves. They lead by commanding and by authority but without showing the example.
I really love the leaders I'm surrounded by right now, esp in pet zone cos I personally feel when I'm doing sth or when I'm following their leadership, I know they're also in the mud with me, we're fighting together and I'm led by people who care, who love and who really do it, not just say it but haven tasted or done it.
Serving is tiring, and it brings about a whole range of emotions. but I got an understanding of how the cross becomes so impt because every emotion that i have been through or will go through, I now know that Jesus had felt so, and even more. So when I'm tired, when I'm disappointed, when I'm frustrated, when I'm so unhappy and hopping mad, I know that I can always look to God because He really knows and He knows even more of the emotions I go through.
I felt so so much better and even happy after having this revelation.
There are so many things I need to settle before I go on my holiday. I seriously cant wait! haa.
I'm so unmotivated to do my report but my prof is rushing it.. i've to complete it in 24hours. God bless me. haha..
I pray and ask for strength. I ask for revival in my soul. I ask for greate fire and passion in me. And finally I ask God that You take away all my pimples.. hmmm..=(
haha.. but thank you God:
1. for good leaders
2. for good friends, esp bestie
3. for good parents (i miss my dearest bro)
4. for the children in my ministry (they seriously make my day, and they never fail to put a smile on my face)
5. for myself (hee)
6. most imptly for you God. I cant do without You.
I'm writing this last part of thanking God because everytime I find myself down and complaining, I'm reminded that thanksgiving is the way and the starting to come into the presence of God. So when I start praying just complaining and sulking etc without thanking God, I just cannot get anything, no encouragement, no enlightenment, no presence nothing. but when I decide to thank God and count my blessings, hey,things just get easier for me and I begin to be a bigger, more generous, more forgiving person. Things become easier and more possible for me. So yeah, God's word really works and it's really up to us to choose what He says or what our crazy world says. Really.
Anyway I wanna conclude by declaring I'm an outright Rafa FAN!!!!!!!! hahaha... I cant stand it! He's too good! He's the best tennis player in the world! Seriously I cant stand it cos he really rocks... hah! some people seldom see or read or hear this crazy side of me, but seriously, those who know me will know that I'm not the gentle demure girl my face portrays. My spirit is kicking on the inside to roar it all out and speak my mind and tell the world what I like and what I dont like, who I stand for, who I don't honestly, What I can stand and what I seriously cannot stand! So stop taking me for this demure pretty face without any guts to speak a piece of my mind! I tell you, I will really hit it off if my limit of tolerance comes to an end! Anyway it's anger and also frustration I'm really throwing out la, and i've been toleratingthis post like for so so SOOOOO long, just because I was afraid of what pple will say. But shut that off la, I know who I stand for, and what God thinks of me and who my security is in. I know my values and what's right and wrong. The rest of it, I just want to ignore and shut it out of my world, so that I'm not corrupted by people's inconsistency and rubbish.
Anyway sorry i got sidetracked but I really am this guy's fan. ha.. not in a i-worship-him manner but seriously, let me tell you his "liao4". He is ranked world no 2 player in tennis, when you watch him play, he has this never-give-up attitude and great fighting spirit even when he's so so dangerously close to losing his match- that's a champion mentality that many MANY players and people in general do not have. He is characterized and well known not as for having excellent tennis skills and as the king of clay, but also for his passion, and most imptly, his perseverence. I'm even more in awe of his character than his skills. He's the only player i've ever seen who has never thrown his racket down in a feat of anger, simply because he's brought up so well. If i'm not wrong, he's taught that his racket is his weapon, not as an object to vent your frustration at when you're angry. So if he did that when he was practising, he would be sent out of the practise grounds and not allowed to play by his coach, that's what I heard la. And he's so humble. So so humble.. He exalts people and respects them above himself, even though it's obvious that he has achieved sth better than them. That takes alot of wisdom to know that it's impt to exalt others above yourself and to be humble so that you are blessed. that's why I really like this guy man. And the best thing... he's my age, 22. Amazing.
For the character that he has and exhibits consistently, and at this age, I really respect and salute him. I want to learn from this kind of example. The character. It defines so many things and shape so many things that you do or dont get to do in the future. I want to learn the right things and throw out the bad. God I pray for more of these people in my life, but most of all, I want to be this kind of person, solid in my skills, yet so humble, willing to learn, persevering, hardworking, and so young. my gosh.. All things are possible. Amen.
Here's a picture of him. HAha!
~phew, I'm pleased with this entry. I've spoken my mind.
what i look forward to, 2:25 AM.
