Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I just came back from my australia holiday and boy did i enjoy it! To be honest, this is my first trip beyond asia, well my sis says we are still within ASIA pacific (ha), but I really did come back refreshed.=)
I felt really bad, actually not just feeling bad now that I saw how my attendance dropped when I was away, but I decided, when I was abroad to stop that feeling of guilt or feeling bad, but to make full use of the holiday that was given to me since I was there already.
I learnt alot about myself, and most imptly gained back all the confidence I needed and was struggling to find back. When I stepped into the train this evening, I didnt feel restrained nor bothered by how people looked at me (not that I was looking strange to begin with). When I was away, I felt free to be myself, dress the way I wanted (not sleazily or anything) but just free and unrestrained to be me. I guess I just needed time away.
And I came back carrying a new attitude I believe, with the attitude that I dont need to look to people for confidence or people's affirmation for security, I just need to be me, love myself for who I am, have peace with myself, come to terms with my faults and wrongs and move on from there. Just be confident with being yourself. And I felt I was today. this made my day today.
Anyway I just wanted to say that my time in Australia ROCKS! and I've no regrets. oh well, maybe just alittle, that the trip could be postponed to july or sth so I could be part of the big day and sheperd my sheeps through.
This week is a week of bringing back my sheep into church and also to better manage my entire life interms of studies. It's the last year, way to go!
I felt really bad, actually not just feeling bad now that I saw how my attendance dropped when I was away, but I decided, when I was abroad to stop that feeling of guilt or feeling bad, but to make full use of the holiday that was given to me since I was there already.
I learnt alot about myself, and most imptly gained back all the confidence I needed and was struggling to find back. When I stepped into the train this evening, I didnt feel restrained nor bothered by how people looked at me (not that I was looking strange to begin with). When I was away, I felt free to be myself, dress the way I wanted (not sleazily or anything) but just free and unrestrained to be me. I guess I just needed time away.
And I came back carrying a new attitude I believe, with the attitude that I dont need to look to people for confidence or people's affirmation for security, I just need to be me, love myself for who I am, have peace with myself, come to terms with my faults and wrongs and move on from there. Just be confident with being yourself. And I felt I was today. this made my day today.
Anyway I just wanted to say that my time in Australia ROCKS! and I've no regrets. oh well, maybe just alittle, that the trip could be postponed to july or sth so I could be part of the big day and sheperd my sheeps through.
This week is a week of bringing back my sheep into church and also to better manage my entire life interms of studies. It's the last year, way to go!
what i look forward to, 3:15 AM.
